It seems fitting that, on the night of perhaps the craziest IRL show we have ever thrown,1 we get this fhcking text from our landlord. Look at this shit! Look at this fucking bullshit. Can you fucking believe it? We spent all this effort on not breaking the house, paying rent on time, doing everything we could to keep neighbors happy, AND WE ARE STILL GETTING KICKED OUT!!!!!! To be clear, they haven't given us a firm date or anything, but yeah it's a notice of a notice sort of thing. Hopefully they just won't be able to sell it. It’s a real piece of shit house. Part of me wants to make a bid on it but I really don’t wanna live in the basement forever. I don’t think I could even afford it.
Just goes to show you how much the system really cares about you. Not to get too "political" or anything, but this music shit (for me) has always been about escaping capitalism. I've learned how difficult that is to do, and I've essentially compromised down to "getting out of retail." I also got to learn alot about how capitalism actually structures the way we think and live on a deep, deep level. This deserves its own essay so I’ll just say this: turns out booking and organizing is kind of political too lmao. Running a house venue has largely been about control - I wanted a space where I could do what I wanted to do, and my thought was that if I volunteer my space to others, then maybe I could encourage other ppl to support it. It was also an alternative to networking - why go out to shows when I could bring the show to me? People would come thru, see how good it was, and be so satisfied with the results that I would somehow schmooze my way to a real job running actual events.
I started throwing house shows pretty much as soon as I graduated college in 2017. I started in Minneapolis (we ran a lil place called "circuit city") and it was essentially the same kind of deal - a basement house venue that focused on electronic music. We wanted to do cool art stuff, but we didn’t really wanna party. We certainly weren’t willing to put up with mediocre talent. No unloading shitloads of gear, no drums overpowering the mix, no clipping the mixer, and no having 50 fucking ppl on stage.2 I moved to PDX in 2018 but didn’t nail down this space until 2019. That was when the house was just called “Local Cinema.” Then covid hit so we went online (we made the twitch.) This is when it became more of a “brand” - an actual attempt at creating a booking/promotional arm and running an organization that interacted with other groups. Trying to engage head on with analytics and algorithms and what not. Something to really make money with. I also started booking at other venues under the name “Local Cinema”, so now I could finally name the basement “Chilltown, USA.” This was a joke when I first thought of it, but it really was what I was trying to do all along. It was a nod to Portland, but mainly a nod to the essence of DIY - a weird parody/embrace of the low-effort attitude I had encountered in all the local scenes I had been a part of. “It’s chill, my guy!”
It was really important to me that the sound was actually good. I didn't wanna overthink it (it's a fucking basement after all) but I did want it to be audible. Music is sound, right? You hear it. Idk, I had never really liked loud music before doing this DIY shit. Always been a bit of a nerd 🤓 Even as an audiophile, I can admit that music really does sound better when it's loud, but there's more than one way to make it loud. If you crank the levels too much it sounds like poop water and breaks the gear. If you just move closer to the speakers, the music gets louder cuz the sound waves can’t lose as much energy before they hit your ear. It also puts you right up against the music. Intimacy! The small venue thing was never really a choice, but it wasn’t that bad of a practical reality. It's really good at bringing people together (literally) and you get to keep the master low. Altho we still ended up cranking that shit. The smartest thing we ever did was put a limiter on the output to the PA. Increased the lifespan of our system ten fold. I’ve dabbled in finding cheap shit on craigslist for quite some time but I got really lucky with some finds from the basement of Mississippi Studios. That’s the thing - there is stuff out there - you’ve just got to really look for it. It also helps to not be a total idiot as well. But that said, even if you are a genius you’re still gonna make dumb mistakes like spending all your time trying not to be stupid instead of going hard.
It really hasn’t been until just now that I’ve been particularly proud of what I did with this house and my entire “career” running a house venue. I’ve always felt like it’s never been the right place or the right time or that I have the right crew or that I am surrounded by people who care about the things I care about. I’ve felt so alone in doing all this, so completely and totally isolated. I’ve met ppl in the scene and it feels like I am barely speaking the same language as them. I just thought I could do so much more. I thought things would happen so much faster. But I got complacent. I got tired. I was too shy, too timid, too resentful. I took care of my girlfriend instead of hanging out after the show ended. I didn’t demand a big enough cut. I wanted more money. Until my current partner came along I never really felt like I had a “real crew” doing this shit with me. I felt like I was always fighting against people who “weren’t as good” or “didn’t care as much.” I realize that might have just been me being an asshole. Not communicating. Being too fixated on doing things “my way.” That’s what really bums me out: the thought that after all this time and all this effort I couldn’t even create a space where people could really be themselves. I’m sorry to anyone who felt like they got pushed out of working with me or didn’t have enough of a say in what happened here. I really wish I was better at letting people in. In my mind it was obvious what needed to be done. Maybe people really did just not understand what I was trying to do. Maybe people really were just depending on me to keep doing this. IDK.
I just really do want all of you to know: I've fucking loved every minute of this shit. Obviously that's not literally true, but as I think about how I might not live in a show house again, I don't remember “awful housemates” or “paper thin walls” or my poor mental health. I just think about how fucking epic it was. Like unironically, bro!!! I also want to acknowledge how I could not have done it alone. Thank you all so much to everyone that has helped and shared in this with me. I know I am a bit cryptic sometimes. Standoff-ish, maybe. I am just fucking depressed and grumpy and want a ton of money and glory and yeah I'm literally constantly butthurt that I don't have any of that stuff! I too am a victim of capitalism. That's the real brain-rot, right? To spend all this time thinking about how little you have, how much better you could have been, how much more you could be doing, etc etc. You are never allowed to just be happy with what you have. You are only supposed to be grateful when you ask for universal healthcare xD you never actually get to sit and think about how much you love a way of life.
In a way, I am glad I'm crying about the thought of losing this house. It means I really did want to be doing this all this time. That blowing off a life in "finance" or "policy" to make art until I die was really what I wanted to do. I think I'll keep doing that. It's just gonna have to look a little different. I've adapted before, and I can adapt again, but god fucking damnit am I gonna miss being able to throw basement shows. Shows are so fucking epic. I love this shit so fucking much. It’s been really validating to have ppl tell me that this is the best house venue they have ever been to or played at. I love it when all the crustoids in this scene tell me how good it sounds. Artists usually have such an attitude at first - they are always like “oh you need to turn it up” or “it’s not loud enough” or “there aren’t enough people here” but by the end they ALWAYS come around and tell me how good the sound is. That’s been happening a lot recently. Tbh I was always getting high praise from ppl who really understood how this shit works - people were always impressed with how “on time” the shows were. As I’ve gotten older, I have started to loosen up on all that discipline. I really have been trying to chill out, but also take more risks??? IDK.
When all is said and done, it's not over yet. We have one show that is totally booked for March 1st, and then a couple of collabs in the work. Let's try and get some chillers in here last minute, maybe even break that no drums rule (I'm looking at you, @seamoss 👀) so yeah, you better follow us cuz you literally will not wanna miss the last show we ever do xD
@blobhouse for coming up with both "circuit city" AND "local cinema" (and for starting this with me <3)
@daisyrager for being the greatest housemate I've ever had
@zerotep for believing in me
@yawnjewel for booking some amazing bands
@datamami.xo for making me feel included
@orm_d @lyncorelle @sport.haley for being real fans since day 1
@46.98hz for showing me what was possible
@dolph_face for being the actual essence of chill
@melfryyy for keeping me on a tite leash *rawr* and being the best tech partner in the world
3
and if u wanna thank @theresa_sweetheart go follow her!!! She's got a new album coming out soon it's gonna be sick as fuck don't miss it! it's a bit of a fruitier vibe but all of you are literally gay so you should be into it xD you can also subscribe to this substack. I bet she would LOVE that!!!!
D.I.Y WILL NEVER DIE!
LOCAL CINEMA FOREVER!
love you all,
- LxC
@wearehxxs might have been the craziest tbh but that one was before we started streaming and recording everything
In the end, I was wrong about pretty much all of that. Turns out rock musicians aren't the only ones who can't mix or start on time or play decent music 😂
Forgot to thank Melissa and Mariah for paying our bills and keeping our lights on when we couldn’t afford to <3